“The Scouts taught me to to my duty.”
Okay, so I’m a Really Bad Person for having a villain invoke the Boy Scouts in the course of committing a sex murder. I got my inspiration from Penn & Teller, who devoted a whole fourth season episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit to pwning the Scouts.
These splendid entertainers make the point that the Scouts discriminate against gays, bisexual, transgendered people, and atheists. “[W]e won’t let in any faggots…” Yeah, I’d give the Scouts the finger, too.
On the plus side, Penn & Teller propose an alternative organization with its own merit badges. And very much in the spirit of things here, there is a merit badge for porn.
Hot damn! I wish these guys had been around when I was a lad. In the meantime, I can hope their producer calls if they ever need a thaumatophilia expert. (If ve does, I can even promise to say the word “cunt” and not break down laughing, like that John McWhorter guy did back in season two.)
In the meantime, you can see their episode trailer here.
For a different vision of a better kind of Boy Scouts, see Tom Lehrer, who had it right decades ago.
And what about those damned belts they had to wear? I have more than one teenage memory of pawing at one in the backseat of a car, much too wasted to figure out the mechanism of the clasp. And guys think they have it hard trying to unhook bras. Those things were practically chastity belts.
If only I had known that there was some reason to stick it out past Cub Scouts….