Because of course they have to.

This cover was from a short series called Epouvante — “terror.” I think the title is probably best translated as “Death live” (as in “live TV”).

When going to do business with a giant scorpion, clothes are often a good idea.

I can’t make much sense out of this either, unless it’s some weirdly specific bondage and role-play scenario. The mad miner and his ridiculously hot wife, or something.

“An engineered virus turns ordinary housewives into gun-toting dominatrix vixens who gun down helpless librarians! I could be happening right now in your town!” I’m doing my best here, people.

Le savant fou is AFAIK the most common French translation for “mad scientist,” but I see no evidence of a mad scientist on this cover. Just a boring ol’ lesbian seduction scene. Zut alors! I want my twelve francs back.

When you see the tanned and toned buttocks of death on your screen, it’s all over for you, mon ami.

Come to think of it, no one would last very long being trapped in a glass pyramid under the blazing desert sun.

Well, use the grabber-claw on your time time-tank and pick one, buddy. But be sure to choose wisely!