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The Adventures of Ashley Madder: Chapter Four, Page Nineteen
Did she get that at the local comic shop?
I just got a flashback to a Russian fable.
A noblewoman looks out her window one day because a merchant is hawking his wares outside: he has a cartful of penises for sale.
The woman tells her maid to go buy her two big ones, which the maid does. But when the noblewoman takes the penises to bed, they just lie there. Limp and inactive.
The woman sends her maid to complain, and the merchant says there’s a command word to activate his wares, and it costs extra.
Committed now, the noblewoman has her maid pay and gets the command word. She says it to the two penises, which proceed to jump at and ravish her.
And at first the noblewoman has a good time… but the dratted things refuse to stop! She screams the command word, but still the penises won’t stop. She yells for her maid to take a purse of gold and go back to the merchant before he leaves.
And yes, you’ve guessed it: there’s a deactivation command word… which costs extra.
The moral of the story seems to be caveat emptor, and don’t think with your nether regions.
Seriously now. So the moral of the story is “Always upsell”? Or “Always be closing”?
Or maybe “don’t buy stuff from shady dudes in the street”.
There’s no fiction like metafiction.