“The Scouts taught me to to my duty.”
Okay, so I’m a Really Bad Person for having a villain invoke the Boy Scouts in the course of committing a sex murder. I got my inspiration from Penn & Teller, who devoted a whole fourth season episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit to pwning the Scouts.
These splendid entertainers make the point that the Scouts discriminate against gays, bisexual, transgendered people, and atheists. “[W]e won’t let in any faggots…” Yeah, I’d give the Scouts the finger, too.
On the plus side, Penn & Teller propose an alternative organization with its own merit badges. And very much in the spirit of things here, there is a merit badge for porn.
Hot damn! I wish these guys had been around when I was a lad. In the meantime, I can hope their producer calls if they ever need a thaumatophilia expert. (If ve does, I can even promise to say the word “cunt” and not break down laughing, like that John McWhorter guy did back in season two.)
For a different vision of a better kind of Boy Scouts, see Tom Lehrer, who had it right decades ago.
And what about those damned belts they had to wear? I have more than one teenage memory of pawing at one in the backseat of a car, much too wasted to figure out the mechanism of the clasp. And guys think they have it hard trying to unhook bras. Those things were practically chastity belts.
If only I had known that there was some reason to stick it out past Cub Scouts….