This is the category for all the quasi-storyboards and other art associated with a screenplay written by Iago Faustus, called Auto-Icon. The arrangement of posts should show all the storyboards in sequence of publication, beginning with the most recent. The arrows at the bottom of the page are counter-intuitive as a consequence of theme organization. “Older Posts” advances the reader further in time, “Newer Posts” backwards.
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INT. WAREHOUSE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
This room is situated such that it has windows that look down on the warehouse floor where the Gynophage lives. At one end there is a high-resolution video screen.
Harry, Joe, and ERNIE ALBERTSON sit at a chrome conference table while Rosalie. stands next to the video screen with a pointer/clicker device.
HARRY
So what do we know, Dr. Quisp?
ROSALIE
Well, the biochemistry is nothing special. The creature has chromosomes with DNA, uses RNA in the synthesis of proteins, makes use of many of the same chemicals invertebrate animal species use. Oxygen transport through its circulatory system appears to be mostly performed by hemocyanin rather than hemoglobin, which would make this creature seem to be related, if very distantly, to squids and octopuses.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. WAREHOUSE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Rosalie clicks on her device. On the screen appears a sort of animated cutaway showing food moving through the creature’s top siphon into a stomach.
ROSALIE
The gross anatomy of this creature is bizarre, though, as if some latter-day Frankenstein stitched it all together as some sort of prank. The top siphon serves as a breathing and feeding organ leading to a simple stomach.
Geometric shapes move down the animated siphon.
ROSALIE
The stomach contains various internal organs of manipulation, almost an internal mirror image of the tentacles it has on its outside. After some experimentation we discovered that the creature seems to have a preferred diet of live animal protein.
HARRY
Live?
ROSALIE
It seems to especially like eating whole goats, Dr. Lal. Fortunately for the company, goats are cheap.
Rosalie turns to the screen and clicks.
ROSALIE
The brain is a toroidal structure that surrounds the lower end of the feeding siphon. It’s probably at least ten times the mass of a human brain.
The brain appears on the screen, a giant doughnut around the siphon inside Gynophage.
ROSALIE
We’re not really sure what the creature needs all those neurons for.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. WAREHOUSE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Rosalie clicks again. A graphic appears on the screen showing the ends of five kinds of tentacles: “Grabber,” “Mouth,” “Eye.” “Claw,” and “Phallus.”
ROSALIE
The external tentacles are remarkably sophisticated structures, arranged in pentagonal patterns at nine sites around the creature’s body, for forty five tentacles in all. The ones we designate “eyes” and “mouths” appear to contain various sensory organs. The grabbers allow the creature to manipulate objects in its environment, and the “claws” probably have a defensive purpose. The last category, which for want of a better term we are calling phalloi, are mysterious as to exact function.
JOE
(half under his breath)
I could imagine a function…
HARRY
(snapping)
Keep it professional, Joe.
JOE
Sorry, Dr. Lal.
(turning toward Rosalie)
You were saying, Dr. Quisp?
ROSALIE
But the most mysterious anatomical feature at all are broad bands on neuromuscular tissue located beneath and around the brain.
Rosalie clicks to animation showing this.
ROSALIE
These tissues are in many ways similar to those found in electric fish, but they have some properties never before seen in the natural world. These are why I invited Dr. Albertson to join this presentation. Ernie?
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. WAREHOUSE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Ernie gets up and takes the place of Rosalie as well as her pointer ticker. Rosalie sits down. Ernie clicks to an animation of flashing and throbbing tissues inside the creature.
ERNIE
The thing is, the creature is generating a frequently repeated signal consisting of what analysis shows to be packets of binary information conveyed via a modulating and demodulating carrier wave at a consistent frequency of two-point-four gigahertz. Do you realize what this means?
HARRY
I’m a doctor, Ernie, not an electrical engineer.
ERNIE
Well, I’m not sure exactly how to say this, Dr. Lal, so I guess I’ll just say it.
(looks at his shoes for a second)
The Creature is trying to connect to WiFi.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. DORMITORY HALLWAY – NIGHT
The hallway is empty and quiet. Toozie, in stocking feet and wearing a big oversize sweatshirt with pockets, pads down the hallway and KNOCKS on one of the doors.
The door opens. It is Miranda, who breaks into a smile on seeing Toozie.
MIRANDA
Oh, hi!
TOOZIE
Mind if I come in?
MIRANDA
I’d love to have you come in.
Toozie goes in.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. MIRANDA’S DORM ROOM – NIGHT
Miranda sits on her bed, Toozie sits at the desk.
TOOZIE
Thanksgiving sorta sucks when you have to stay at college.
MIRANDA
Everyone goes home and the dining halls close, as does everything else.
TOOZIE
And I was hungry and lonely and thought you might be as well, so I came by and brought what food I could.
Toozie reaches into her sweatshirt pocket and pulls out two sardine cans, which she hands to Miranda to inspect.
MIRANDA
What is this, Toozie?
TOOZIE
Fish of some kind, beyond that I don’t know.
MIRANDA
What language is this label printed in?
TOOZIE
I’m afraid I don’t know that either.
Miranda LAUGHS.
MIRANDA
Well, it’s protein anyway. Look…
Miranda takes down a can of some kind and a hot pot from a shelf.
MIRANDA
I have one can of soup, and I have some crackers which I hope aren’t too stale, and we can pool our resources and have our own little thanksgiving dinner.
TOOZIE
Sounds good to me.
MIRANDA
I’ll fetch what’s necessary.
The women speak as the action goes on: Miranda fetches two bowels and spoons and a box of crackers. She plugs in the hot pot, pops the lid off the can of soup, and pour it in to heat.
TOOZIE
So why didn’t you go home like everyone else?
MIRANDA
Scholarship student. My financial aid only pays for two trips home a year, and I’d rather go home at Christmas. You?
TOOZIE
Well, I…
(contemplates for a moment)
I don’t have parents to go home to. They died in a car accident when I was twelve.
Miranda stops her preparations, shocked, genuinely sympathetic.
MIRANDA
Oh, Toozie, I didn’t know! I’m so sorry…
TOOZIE
It was hard, but for me it’s just something I’ve grown to accept. And I suppose at least now the loss of my parents is over. It’s not something I ever have to spend time dreading.
MIRANDA
Still, that’s terrible.
TOOZIE
I get to spend my Thanksgiving with you.
Miranda looks deeply moved, and almost as if she is about to cry.
TOOZIE
After Mama and Baba died I was brought up by an aunt and uncle who I don’t think liked me very much. Enough was left from my parents’ estate to pay for my schooling, so aunt and uncle packed me off to boarding school and I didn’t see very much of them.
MIRANDA
That’s really sad.
TOOZIE
The point is, I guess, that I don’t really feel like going “home.” I have plenty of studying to do.
Toozie pulls a lid off one of the cans of fish, sniffs it.
TOOZIE
It is…fish?
(looks up at Miranda)
Do you want to know something, Miranda?
MIRANDA
Yes, sure.
TOOZIE
This might be a very meager and humble meal, had by us in this big empty lonely dorm on a dark November night and yet…this is the first Thanksgiving in a long time when I’ve actually felt thankful for something.
MIRANDA
Oh, Toozie.
Miranda gives Toozie a big hug.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. ROSALIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Sound of a lock TURNING. Rosalie enters her apartment and turns on the light. She is dressed as she was in the previous scene.
The apartment is an efficiency, neat and spare almost to the point of being monastic. That the apartment is on a high floor can be seen by a nighttime cityscape stretching far away through the uncurtained windows.
TWEEDLING from Rosalie’s handbag. Rosalie pulls out a phone and looks at the screen.
ROSALIE
Spam.
(shakes her head)
Always, always spam.
Rosalie puts her bag and phone down on the kitchen alcove’s counter, goes to the freezer and takes out a single-serving reduced-calorie meal which she puts in a microwave. She then puts on a tea-kettle.
Rosalie’s phone RINGS. She picks it up quickly, almost lunging for it.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated >screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. ROSALIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
INTERCUT – PHONE CONVERSATION
(Note: This conversation takes place between Rosalie and Harry. Harry is calling from the study in his home, which should be the study of a successful and scholarly man, if not (yet) a very rich one. Harry has a drink of some kind.)
ROSALIE
Hello?
HARRY
Rosalie? Hi, it’s Harry. I’m sorry to call so late. Is now an good time to talk?>
ROSALIE
Sure, Harry. I’m not doing anything.
HARRY
Listen, Rosalie, I’m sort of troubled and wanted your advice. About this Creature Wi-Fi business…
ROSALIE
You want my opinion on whether we should let it connect.
HARRY
Yes. I mean, there’s an ethical issue here. It might seem weird to wonder, but what if it wants to take over the world?
ROSALIE
Seriously, Harry?
HARRY
Well, there’s that. But also I get the sense that the investors are beginning to get a little restless with how much time and money we’ve spent on this Creature project.
ROSALIE
Yes?
HARRY
It’s not really part our remit to discover new intelligences. Our continuing mission is to seek out strange new drugs and then charge people for them.
ROSALIE
If you ask me Harry, if you discover any intelligence here at all you’ll be on the road to incredible discoveries. Maybe it’s just my intuition…
HARRY
I trust your intuition. Someone’s going to have monitor this thing’s communications, though.
ROSALIE
If you want a volunteer for the job, I’ll say yes.
HARRY
It might mean a lot of extra hours.
ROSALIE
So I’ll move into the lab if I have to. It will be just like graduate school.
HARRY
Alright. See you there tomorrow then.
ROSALIE
Bye, Harry.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
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INT. A COLLEGE DINING HALL – DAY
Toozie with her tray full of food joins Miranda and SHERMAN who are eating at a small table in the hall. Toozie has a reproduction pulp magazine under her arm which she places on the table.
SHERMAN
Hi, Toozie,
TOOZIE
Hi, guys.
SHERMAN
(gesturing with his fork at Toozie’s plate)
What are you eating?
TOOZIE
Vegetable stew. Chick peas, potatoes, carrots. Actually very tasty.
MIRANDA
Praise Ephraim College Food Service for providing a vegan option.
SHERMAN
Can’t get into that myself.
TOOZIE
So when our alien overlords conquer us you won’t object when they start raising you and your descendants for meat?
SHERMAN
Uh, maybe I could just go vegetarian?
Miranda cups her hands under her breasts.
MIRANDA
So it would be better if they just raised us for milk?
All LAUGH, though Sherman seems a little embarrassed.
Please do not reproduce this storyboard or its associated screenplay text without permission from Faustus, who may be contacted here.
